You said you wanted someone of great quality, But these days great quality in personality is rare to reality. You’d settle for quantities contradicting yourself. You said you were different, but you’re just like everyone else. Love? How could you find it if you can’t define it. And how could you love with no actions behind it. You look for someone to spend a lot of your time with but, at the same time you feel commitment & attachments is a waste of time. So therefore In other words you’re looking for someone to waste a lot of time wasting their time. I am consuming your lies while you are preparing more lies at the end of your pitch fork. I am first demoralized then paralyzed, crippled by every word that you speak. But as a fool I come back for more seconds, doubles & triples because I am a statistic who has fallen hard for your bullshit. I’d submit to your every request, lord know you’re so demanding. The situation bends more depending on the pending of your many tasks & new rules of commandments. And If the image is not as vivid as you planned it I’d have to give an alibi in hopes that you’ll stay because you’re quick to say goodbye & I’m quick to break down & cry. You treat me like my weight has no matter to it, lord why? but everyone has that day they’d wake up & say they’ve had it, enough is enough time to leave you like a classic. On this day you’d say how everyone’s worthless, you’d complain about them not being as flexible & how everyone tends to give up on you, but truthfully you brought this on you. You chased everyone off who was ever nice to you. Cheated & treated like a slave because they really liked you, you’d push them off for someone who’d physically engage in fights with you, someone who doesn’t want to spend a life with you, who’s only interest is engaging in one nights with you. This is my goodbye to you. Written by Brandon. R @OfficialRussaw
Poetry
A Slave To The Memories
I think about you all the fucking time
every since the day you left,
my mind has been fixed on your existence.
I grow anxiously tempted to hit your line,
but i hesitate because i know it’ll be a waste of time. I rewind the clock for a bit and start to reminisce about the good shit
mostly all of our experiences were heavily bliss. Who would have known that you’d pull off a miraculous disappearance trick. These days the thought of you grows stronger & the hour gets longer. You left me to be obsessively burned by the heat of your no return. As your absence prolongs I become a raisin bruised by the baking sun or that crop who wishes that the rain would come. I get a little delusional now days its usuals. These days i think i need therapy as i continuously hear your voice whispering to me I feel your presence as if you’re right next to me, but in reality you’re no where near my vicinity. You’ve widely contributed to the change of my activities. Throughout the day I can’t eat & I don’t do any of the things i use to. I guess I’m just not use to the thought of living without you. You’d think my troubles would ease at night, but it don’t it just repeats, overlaps & doubles when i lose sleep. I lay awake at the latest time flicking through photographs that i have sworn to delete. Here lies the strangest fatality
i am a slave to these memories who’s far in debt to reality.
Because Of That Day
You told me that you loved me, you made me feel that my presence was important
you said without me you’d be broken.
& then there came month 26 on that day you left me for someone who was more smoother skin & had more money than. On that day you said maybe we should be just friends. I guess they was just better than & i guess our situation was just for pretend.
Now I’m left broken over contemplating about you, sadly the broken grows when I’m more lost in these thoughts. Pride only allows me to go out when the precipitation is heavy. The rain becomes one with the tears that drip from my eyes it camouflages so no one notices that I’m feeling troubled. At every hour the pain seems to double. They say the pain will soon subside just go outside experience a sunny day, but its like I’m crippled, currently disabled, unable to be as mobile. I need someone by my side to help me reach the outside where the sun shines so bright & the night just never seems to awake. On the inside I’m hurting, i feel that i am the burden. Times like this brings forth the biggest confusion i want love, but then again i feel that i don’t need to be fused with a single soul so i push everyone away because of the pain that i still feel from that day. I’m over here suffering while you’re only out to fuck & mistreat, everyone thinks you’re a good person, but no one knows like I know the secrets you keep lowkey.
My Twitter Accounts: @RetroLove__ & @OfficialRussaw
Our Words Have Become Brief
These days our words have become brief, we struggle to hold a conversation
it seems that you’ve lost interest
you tell me its nothing, but I ain’t stupid I know its something,
you say its complicated.
The bullshit contain it you see i know its somebody else that holds your attention
so you can resume deflecting, back peddling and stuttering while
yelling with your explanations. You’ve gotten yourself into a sticky situation.
The complication is birthed whenever
you start to break down those so called “facts” theoretically, trying to persuade me to believe that this isn’t that. You want me to overlook the obvious and pretend that your wrong doings didn’t exist, you want me to be stupid. What a waste of air when your facts is fornicated. Worthless half told truths, you can save it. Fact is you fucked somebody else while i fought for your attention, you turned your back on this relationship. But i’ve put myself in this wicked position i should’ve left you when i had that gut feeling. Now I’m stuck with these feelings.
Brandon Russaw Twitter: @RetroLove__
Our Situation Is Complicated
All these text messages but none equivalent to yours
you been away for a bit, these days you claim to be the busiest
i barely hear from you anymore
Sometimes I think of stopping and knocking at your fucking door
surprise pop ups & text messages like “Hey I miss you”,
but i refuse to because i hate to bug you
and just when we do talk we just never seem to situate the issue
because lately I’d bite my words & beat around the bush as much as possible
pretending to be okay when really I’m not okay.
So up goes the confusion here is the biggest issues
I miss you, but I’d stray away from conversing with you because i don’t want the conversation to turn into devastation
you know how we get.. into arguments that seem to escalade from zero to 50 quick.
It seems that every time I share my feelings you get livid
So I keep my words as brief as possible
because these days I grow aggravated when you misunderstand,
& you get annoyed when i try to make you comprehend
I become very agitated, & frustrated because you’re irritated. Our situation is just the epitome of complication
I love you…. but then again…. we are in a complicated situation that continually grow more out of hand.
Brandon Russaw Twitter: @RetroLove__
Condolences To The Bullshit
My condolences to the bullshit
May the problems rest in peace,
May my grip be retained,
May further attachments with you be
restrained, & may my composure be contained as I regain my brain that I’ve lost
In the process of loving you.
I was just another statistic I suppose, that couldn’t see the obvious, I was lost, blindfolded by all the false “I love you’s” that you’ve composed like a sweet symphony being orchestrated by an Orchestra I fell a victim of manipulation from its glorifying tone. But may the boundaries now surface as I depart from your existence.
Written By Brandon Russaw
Suck In The Pain Like Oxygen|The Poem|Trimmed Version
Suck in the pain like oxygen
Suck in the pain like oxygen
And fake a smile like a phenomenal actor execute’s a movie script
Have A celebration of acceleration
But don’t celebrate
You pretend to be happy but in reality
You suffocate from deceleration
As your body creeps through a lonely like street
The pain “lies” so deep it burns as if it came straight from the barrel of the heat
It penetrate so deep through your temple, it fucks up your mental
Tears through your flesh and destroys your physical as you Pretend to be joyful
Written By I, Brandon. R also known as SpokenTruth
OfficalBee
IF YOU SHARE HASTAG #SpokenTruthsPoetry
And follow me on twitter @RetroLove__ Two underscores
Abandoned|The Poem|Trimmed Version
ABANDONED
I’ve lost my grip, I’ve lost my way, I’ve seen things that i wish were only a dream
deep within my life, it’s wished only to be a dream and once awaken I find my life has not been forsaken yet at every moment reality weighs in on me
it has a tragic effect pushing me right when I should be going left
to reality I’m far in dept I’m just that slave that reality looks to collect
to me it seems my deity has abandon me
As my temple deplete my soul seems to remain in pain’s captivity
but hear this with all of this occurring I’ve finally found my bliss
fortunately it comes in the form of beauty but unfortunately in such relations its distance is close propinquity to death here I indulges in it’s sinful fruits over looking what will be its conclusions because it’s pleasures is as overwhelming
Here i lay blinded to the facts that this situation is in the vicinity of temporary, a situation that I’ve come to truly treasure, foolish me thinking it would last forever, what a mistake to have drowned in it’s darkened pleasures, pleasures that reality have come to completely rebuttal with
I lay with deceased dignity as my only sense of joy has come to subside
with a perplexing amount guilt that’s built up so high my only solution is to die
if you were to ask me am I happy? I would quickly respond with a lie
on this outside it seems like prison but in reality I’m free, mentally
My soul seems as an ocean without any form of permanent structure
my soul undulates in the breeze
as tough as life may seem, reality has come to remind me
that I’m only temporary free on the outside but on the inside of my temple where my mental resides I remain forever free
so while the pain is in continuum, in my thoughts I shall remain Abandoned.
Written By I, Brandon. R also known as SpokenTruth
OfficalBee
IF YOU SHARE HASTAG #SpokenTruthsPoetry
And follow me on twitter @RetroLove__ Two underscores
Reminder for my new poem “Down On The Corner”
Hello to all of my followers I am back!
Tomorrow around 4 pm central time I’m posting another poem called Down On The Corner (Trimmed Version)
Trust me you guys wouldn’t want to miss it 😊 🙂
I’ve fallen In love with a dream (Misunderstood, Poetry)
I’ve fallen in love with a dream
Much many of my writings are sad and very depressing
and much many of my writings along with this
Maybe misunderstood..
Many people may read this and not understand
But, truth is I’ve become mentally attached
to someone, to something that’s not real
My heart bleeds for it, yet it doesn’t exist
Through many years of your non, existence I’ve grown very fond of you.
You’re wonder because your pretty appearance
And mind blowing personality makes you beautiful
And you love me unconditionally, that alone makes me so happy
it could stretch the tic of time and last for eternity
But you see, the most twisted up thing about this is,
you don’t exist you’re just a figment of my imagination
A thought in which you’re harmony and bliss
But in reality you fail to exist. “Love” “Misunderstood Poetry”
