These days our words have become brief, we struggle to hold a conversation
it seems that you’ve lost interest
you tell me its nothing, but I ain’t stupid I know its something,
you say its complicated.
The bullshit contain it you see i know its somebody else that holds your attention
so you can resume deflecting, back peddling and stuttering while
yelling with your explanations. You’ve gotten yourself into a sticky situation.
The complication is birthed whenever
you start to break down those so called “facts” theoretically, trying to persuade me to believe that this isn’t that. You want me to overlook the obvious and pretend that your wrong doings didn’t exist, you want me to be stupid. What a waste of air when your facts is fornicated. Worthless half told truths, you can save it. Fact is you fucked somebody else while i fought for your attention, you turned your back on this relationship. But i’ve put myself in this wicked position i should’ve left you when i had that gut feeling. Now I’m stuck with these feelings.
Brandon Russaw Twitter: @RetroLove__
All these text messages but none equivalent to yours
you been away for a bit, these days you claim to be the busiest
i barely hear from you anymore
Sometimes I think of stopping and knocking at your fucking door
surprise pop ups & text messages like “Hey I miss you”,
but i refuse to because i hate to bug you
and just when we do talk we just never seem to situate the issue
because lately I’d bite my words & beat around the bush as much as possible
pretending to be okay when really I’m not okay.
So up goes the confusion here is the biggest issues
I miss you, but I’d stray away from conversing with you because i don’t want the conversation to turn into devastation
you know how we get.. into arguments that seem to escalade from zero to 50 quick.
It seems that every time I share my feelings you get livid
So I keep my words as brief as possible
because these days I grow aggravated when you misunderstand,
& you get annoyed when i try to make you comprehend
I become very agitated, & frustrated because you’re irritated. Our situation is just the epitome of complication
I love you…. but then again…. we are in a complicated situation that continually grow more out of hand.
Brandon Russaw Twitter: @RetroLove__
Sip From My Soul (The Short Poem)
Here take a sip of this, life
and get lost in the dark abyss
experience some joyful pleasures
that life may soon rebuttal with
soon after it, embrace the rain of pain
that leaves puddles of guilt
let the puddles continue to grow filth
and drown into a murky ocean
let the seas be parted but, not by the grace of a good heart
let the seas be depleted as the part creates a path for contamination
that unstable’s a noble heart
let a storm of regret build a form of hatred
as happiness is swept away from a nation
hope is allowed to dry as it remains as a raisin bruised by the baking sun
take a sip of my life feel the continuum of pain as it remains and explain to me what exactly is so spontaneous to
be blinded truthfully because your eyes lack its ableness to see reality.
If you will by the time you’ve experienced all of what I feel
you’d be physically exhausted and mentally ill
as you indulge into my experiences you’d be broken from an hour of its occurrences
to look back on a day, on a time, to look back at a place that’s not there anymore
though its presence fails to exist I can still see it vividly as if it’s still there as it was years ago
for a fraction of a moment my eyes play a bitter trick on me, my eyes still see it as if it still resides, I’m lost focusing on this one moment of time and the friction of it is all time has moved on while I remain stuck in the past for this moment in time memories seem to be all that I have. Questions and regret soon began to emerge inside, why must I reminisce, why must I remember everything as if it was harmony and bliss the very prideful me tried hard to forget but these thoughts seemed to be too relentless so here I am, I come to accept it I’ve now put pride completely aside no more will I use the rain to cover up the tears that drips from my eyes these memories have lured into a very vulnerable part of my temple leading all the way down to my soul that is why now I am admitting I miss it, I miss everything about it, while it was in this time I wish I could have more acknowledged it but I didn’t so here I lay stuck with memories that never seem to fade completely away, memories that seem so real to reality on the tangible side it seems as if I can reach right out and grab it, I suffer mentally and it shows in every aspect of my physical being. ~Memories~