Her Absence

She said she don’t love me no more
she hit me with the “its not you its me.”
I got problems thats bigger then the both of us.
I’m so fucking sorry that you couldn’t see the uncertainty and in reality theres no equality in you and me. She said sorry, sorry theres a lot of hurt in me, but Its time to set you free
when she finished, it was much like a eulogy
rest in peace to what we use to be.
Great memories i think this is the end of me
she said we’ll always be friends you see,
But not to me, i don’t accept. You’re worse then the evilest of enemies truthfully you left me because my image didn’t vividly match the description of the image you envisioned
i would try to console you & be that ear to listen, but you’d tell me to mind my business you’d keep your distance. The absence of love has invited me to these prescriptions. My whole world was depleted & pierced from the pain created, she cutes deep.
At night i lose much sleep and when it comes to eating i have no appetite.
I can’t eat, I can’t sleep surrounded by the thoughts of you.
The pain i want it to end, but it remains in continuum. Continually building & breaking the formation of my skin your absence is reality and from this reality I remain engulfed by misery. My soul is indulged in darkness
this is a reality that i wish not to be subdued to.
I feel like a fool whose captivated in a cage
and grief is on full display for the world to view all of this is motivated by you. @OfficialRussaw

A Slave To The Memories

I think about you all the fucking time
every since the day you left,
my mind has been fixed on your existence.
I grow anxiously tempted to hit your line,
but i hesitate because i know it’ll be a waste of time. I rewind the clock for a bit and start to reminisce about the good shit
mostly all of our experiences were heavily bliss. Who would have known that you’d pull off a miraculous disappearance trick. These days the thought of you grows stronger & the hour gets longer. You left me to be obsessively burned by the heat of your no return. As your absence prolongs I become a raisin bruised by the baking sun or that crop who wishes that the rain would come. I get a little delusional now days its usuals. These days i think i need therapy as i continuously hear your voice whispering to me I feel your presence as if you’re right next to me, but in reality you’re no where near my vicinity. You’ve widely contributed to the change of my activities. Throughout the day I can’t eat & I don’t do any of the things i use to. I guess I’m just not use to the thought of living without you. You’d think my troubles would ease at night, but it don’t it just repeats, overlaps & doubles when i lose sleep. I lay awake at the latest time flicking through photographs that i have sworn to delete. Here lies the strangest fatality
i am a slave to these memories who’s far in debt to reality.

@OfficialRussaw

Because Of That Day

You told me that you loved me, you made me feel that my presence was important
you said without me you’d be broken.
& then there came month 26 on that day you left me for someone who was more smoother skin & had more money than. On that day you said maybe we should be just friends. I guess they was just better than & i guess our situation was just for pretend.
Now I’m left broken over contemplating about you, sadly the broken grows when I’m more lost in these thoughts. Pride only allows me to go out when the precipitation is heavy. The rain becomes one with the tears that drip from my eyes it camouflages so no one notices that I’m feeling troubled. At every hour the pain seems to double. They say the pain will soon subside just go outside experience a sunny day, but its like I’m crippled, currently disabled, unable to be as mobile. I need someone by my side to help me reach the outside where the sun shines so bright & the night just never seems to awake. On the inside I’m hurting, i feel that i am the burden. Times like this brings forth the biggest confusion i want love, but then again i feel that i don’t need to be fused with a single soul so i push everyone away because of the pain that i still feel from that day. I’m over here suffering while you’re only out to fuck & mistreat, everyone thinks you’re a good person, but no one knows like I know the secrets you keep lowkey.

My Twitter Accounts: @RetroLove__  & @OfficialRussaw

Our Words Have Become Brief

These days  our words have become brief, we struggle to hold a conversation
it seems that you’ve lost interest
you tell me its nothing, but I ain’t stupid I know its something,
you say its complicated.
The bullshit contain it you see i know its somebody else that holds your attention
so you can resume deflecting, back peddling and stuttering while
yelling with your explanations. You’ve gotten yourself into a sticky situation.
The complication is birthed whenever
you start to break down those so called “facts” theoretically, trying to persuade me to believe that this isn’t that. You want me to overlook the obvious and pretend that your wrong doings didn’t exist, you want me to be stupid. What a waste of air when your facts is fornicated. Worthless half told truths, you can save it. Fact is you fucked somebody else while i fought for your attention, you turned your back on this relationship. But i’ve put myself in this wicked position i should’ve left you when i had that gut feeling. Now I’m stuck with these feelings.

Brandon Russaw Twitter: @RetroLove__

 

 

Squeeze My Troubles Free| The Poem| Trimmed Version

Squeeze My Troubles Free

I walk in a lonely path 

By a lonely creek 
Looking at broken glass 
Shattered all over the streets 
Each shattered glass represents memories of a painful past 
Look at last I’m free, I’m free!
At least that’s what it seems to be
In this life I’m only temporarily free
Pain seems to have just came and completely subdued me
I’m captivated in its presence and terrified by its ongoing memories
I can never be at any sort of ease
It just seems that maybe if i put the eagle to my head and just squeeeeezzze…..
my troubles will be free 
Free at last 

Written By I, Brandon. R also known as SpokenTruth

OfficalBee

IF YOU SHARE HASTAG #SpokenTruthsPoetry 

And follow me on twitter @RetroLove__ Two underscores

Suck In The Pain Like Oxygen|The Poem|Trimmed Version

Suck in the pain like oxygen

Suck in the pain like oxygen

And fake a smile like a phenomenal actor execute’s a movie script
Have A celebration of acceleration
But don’t celebrate
You pretend to be happy but in reality 
You suffocate from deceleration
As your body creeps through a lonely like street
The pain “lies” so deep it burns as if it came straight from the barrel of the heat
It penetrate so deep through your temple, it fucks up your mental
Tears through your flesh and destroys your physical as you Pretend to be joyful

Written By I, Brandon. R also known as SpokenTruth

OfficalBee

IF YOU SHARE HASTAG #SpokenTruthsPoetry 

And follow me on twitter @RetroLove__ Two underscores

Sip From My Soul (The Short Poem)

Sip From My Soul (The Short Poem)

Here take a sip of this, life
and get lost in the dark abyss
experience some joyful pleasures
that life may soon rebuttal with
soon after it, embrace the rain of pain
that leaves puddles of guilt
let the puddles continue to grow filth
and drown into a murky ocean
let the seas be parted but, not by the grace of a good heart
let the seas be depleted as the part creates a path for contamination
that unstable’s a noble heart
let a storm of regret build a form of hatred
as happiness is swept away from a nation
hope is allowed to dry as it remains as a raisin bruised by the baking sun
take a sip of my life feel the continuum of pain as it remains and explain to me what exactly is so spontaneous to
be blinded truthfully because your eyes lack its ableness to see reality.
If you will by the time you’ve experienced all of what I feel
you’d be physically exhausted and mentally ill
as you indulge into my experiences you’d be broken from an hour of its occurrences

I’ve fallen In love with a dream (Misunderstood, Poetry)

I’ve fallen in love with a dream

Much many of my writings are sad and very depressing 

and much many of my writings along with this 

Maybe misunderstood..


Many people may read this and not understand

But, truth is I’ve become mentally attached 

to someone, to something that’s not real

My heart bleeds for it, yet it doesn’t exist 

Through many years of your non, existence I’ve grown very fond of you. 

You’re wonder because your pretty appearance

And mind blowing personality makes you beautiful

And you love me unconditionally, that alone makes me so happy

it could stretch the tic of time and last for eternity

But you see, the most twisted up thing about this is,

you don’t exist you’re just a figment of my imagination

A thought in which you’re harmony and bliss

But in reality you fail to exist. “Love”   “Misunderstood Poetry”

Dangerous Love (Poetry)

Dangerous Love

Why do you feel,

that you’re someone who no one will ever like

to go along in life pretending that your alright

when in reality your drowning in pain

Your face stay drenched in tears

mainly over the same thing, someone left you a long time ago

simply because you did not fulfill the thoughts of being a perfect person

can you believe this shit, You spent many years building up your self-confidence

only to have them crushed down by that one person

who told you, you’re no one’s dream nor treasure

so therefore you have no placement in this world and soon after hearing that bullshit

you allow your whole world to turn into darkness,

you then start to hate every fucking moment of your existence

in, that moment nothing seems to really make much sense

and instead of living life you hide in darkness because you’re so ashamed of who you are

you’re mentally broken and sadden you feel that you can’t ever be of any great quality

but who is he or she to say you’re not special,

if only you knew

but you don’t know so you constantly reject the fact that you’re wonderful

it hurts my soul because it seems you’ll never know

your very lovable so please put down that blade

and pay close attention to your magnificent indifference’s which makes you beautiful

Instead of embracing this fact that you are beautiful

You’ve braced yourself and built upon numbness

because you’re brainwashed with thoughts

that a heartless world would survive

but deep down inside you still wishes that someone could love you

someone, no other than this one person that dogged you

you find yourself pointlessly waiting by the phone, waiting for this person to call you

to say to you they’ve made a big mistake by leaving you

but you soon come to your senses

you realized this is nearly impossible, that is something that they’ll never do

by now you’ve grown tired of the same pain

by now you feel your only resort is for death to rescue you

with the scares still burning she weeps

she lets the blade lay deep within her skin

and the only thing she had left in her hand was a note

May she rest peacefully “I hope”