Her Absence

She said she don’t love me no more
she hit me with the “its not you its me.”
I got problems thats bigger then the both of us.
I’m so fucking sorry that you couldn’t see the uncertainty and in reality theres no equality in you and me. She said sorry, sorry theres a lot of hurt in me, but Its time to set you free
when she finished, it was much like a eulogy
rest in peace to what we use to be.
Great memories i think this is the end of me
she said we’ll always be friends you see,
But not to me, i don’t accept. You’re worse then the evilest of enemies truthfully you left me because my image didn’t vividly match the description of the image you envisioned
i would try to console you & be that ear to listen, but you’d tell me to mind my business you’d keep your distance. The absence of love has invited me to these prescriptions. My whole world was depleted & pierced from the pain created, she cutes deep.
At night i lose much sleep and when it comes to eating i have no appetite.
I can’t eat, I can’t sleep surrounded by the thoughts of you.
The pain i want it to end, but it remains in continuum. Continually building & breaking the formation of my skin your absence is reality and from this reality I remain engulfed by misery. My soul is indulged in darkness
this is a reality that i wish not to be subdued to.
I feel like a fool whose captivated in a cage
and grief is on full display for the world to view all of this is motivated by you. @OfficialRussaw

GoodBye To You

You said you wanted someone of great quality, But these days great quality in personality is rare to reality. You’d settle for quantities contradicting yourself. You said you were different, but you’re just like everyone else. Love? How could you find it if you can’t define it. And how could you love with no actions behind it. You look for someone to spend a lot of your time with but, at the same time you feel commitment & attachments is a waste of time. So therefore In other words you’re looking for someone to waste a lot of time wasting their time. I am consuming your lies while you are preparing more lies at the end of your pitch fork. I am first demoralized then paralyzed, crippled by every word that you speak. But as a fool I come back for more seconds, doubles & triples because I am a statistic who has fallen hard for your bullshit. I’d submit to your every request, lord know you’re so demanding. The situation bends more depending on the pending of your many tasks & new rules of commandments. And If the image is not as vivid as you planned it I’d have to give an alibi in hopes that you’ll stay because you’re quick to say goodbye & I’m quick to break down & cry. You treat me like my weight has no matter to it, lord why? but everyone has that day they’d wake up & say they’ve had it, enough is enough time to leave you like a classic. On this day you’d say how everyone’s worthless, you’d complain about them not being as flexible & how everyone tends to give up on you, but truthfully you brought this on you. You chased everyone off who was ever nice to you. Cheated & treated like a slave because they really liked you, you’d push them off for someone who’d physically engage in fights with you, someone who doesn’t want to spend a life with you, who’s only interest is engaging in one nights with you. This is my goodbye to you.  Written by Brandon. R  @OfficialRussaw

A Slave To The Memories

I think about you all the fucking time
every since the day you left,
my mind has been fixed on your existence.
I grow anxiously tempted to hit your line,
but i hesitate because i know it’ll be a waste of time. I rewind the clock for a bit and start to reminisce about the good shit
mostly all of our experiences were heavily bliss. Who would have known that you’d pull off a miraculous disappearance trick. These days the thought of you grows stronger & the hour gets longer. You left me to be obsessively burned by the heat of your no return. As your absence prolongs I become a raisin bruised by the baking sun or that crop who wishes that the rain would come. I get a little delusional now days its usuals. These days i think i need therapy as i continuously hear your voice whispering to me I feel your presence as if you’re right next to me, but in reality you’re no where near my vicinity. You’ve widely contributed to the change of my activities. Throughout the day I can’t eat & I don’t do any of the things i use to. I guess I’m just not use to the thought of living without you. You’d think my troubles would ease at night, but it don’t it just repeats, overlaps & doubles when i lose sleep. I lay awake at the latest time flicking through photographs that i have sworn to delete. Here lies the strangest fatality
i am a slave to these memories who’s far in debt to reality.

@OfficialRussaw

Because Of That Day

You told me that you loved me, you made me feel that my presence was important
you said without me you’d be broken.
& then there came month 26 on that day you left me for someone who was more smoother skin & had more money than. On that day you said maybe we should be just friends. I guess they was just better than & i guess our situation was just for pretend.
Now I’m left broken over contemplating about you, sadly the broken grows when I’m more lost in these thoughts. Pride only allows me to go out when the precipitation is heavy. The rain becomes one with the tears that drip from my eyes it camouflages so no one notices that I’m feeling troubled. At every hour the pain seems to double. They say the pain will soon subside just go outside experience a sunny day, but its like I’m crippled, currently disabled, unable to be as mobile. I need someone by my side to help me reach the outside where the sun shines so bright & the night just never seems to awake. On the inside I’m hurting, i feel that i am the burden. Times like this brings forth the biggest confusion i want love, but then again i feel that i don’t need to be fused with a single soul so i push everyone away because of the pain that i still feel from that day. I’m over here suffering while you’re only out to fuck & mistreat, everyone thinks you’re a good person, but no one knows like I know the secrets you keep lowkey.

My Twitter Accounts: @RetroLove__  & @OfficialRussaw

Our Words Have Become Brief

These days  our words have become brief, we struggle to hold a conversation
it seems that you’ve lost interest
you tell me its nothing, but I ain’t stupid I know its something,
you say its complicated.
The bullshit contain it you see i know its somebody else that holds your attention
so you can resume deflecting, back peddling and stuttering while
yelling with your explanations. You’ve gotten yourself into a sticky situation.
The complication is birthed whenever
you start to break down those so called “facts” theoretically, trying to persuade me to believe that this isn’t that. You want me to overlook the obvious and pretend that your wrong doings didn’t exist, you want me to be stupid. What a waste of air when your facts is fornicated. Worthless half told truths, you can save it. Fact is you fucked somebody else while i fought for your attention, you turned your back on this relationship. But i’ve put myself in this wicked position i should’ve left you when i had that gut feeling. Now I’m stuck with these feelings.

Brandon Russaw Twitter: @RetroLove__

 

 

Our Situation Is Complicated

All these text messages but none equivalent to yours
you been away for a bit, these days you claim to be the busiest
i barely hear from you anymore
Sometimes I think of stopping and knocking at your fucking door
surprise pop ups & text messages like “Hey I miss you”,
but i refuse to because i hate to bug you
and just when we do talk we just never seem to situate the issue
because lately I’d bite my words & beat around the bush as much as possible
pretending to be okay when really I’m not okay.
So up goes the confusion here is the biggest issues
I miss you, but I’d stray away from conversing with you because i don’t want the conversation to turn into devastation
you know how we get.. into arguments that seem to escalade from zero to 50 quick.
It seems that every time I share my feelings you get livid
So I keep my words as brief as possible
because these days I grow aggravated when you misunderstand,
& you get annoyed when i try to make you comprehend
I become very agitated, & frustrated because you’re irritated. Our situation is just the epitome of complication
I love you…. but then again…. we are in a complicated situation that continually grow more out of hand.

Brandon Russaw Twitter: @RetroLove__

Condolences To The Bullshit

My condolences to the bullshit
May the problems rest in peace,
May my grip be retained,
May further attachments with you be
restrained, & may my composure be contained as I regain my brain that I’ve lost
In the process of loving you.
I was just another statistic I suppose, that couldn’t see the obvious, I was lost, blindfolded by all the false “I love you’s” that you’ve composed like a sweet symphony being orchestrated by an Orchestra I fell a victim of manipulation from its glorifying tone. But may the boundaries now surface as I depart from your existence.

Written By Brandon Russaw

GoodBye Trimmed Poem

The most hurtful thing to awake in the morning alone
Because
The one that you loved beyond all measures, The one that you were so attached to is no longer laying beside you
Their heart is no longer present 
It freely undulates in the breeze 
Inside I wish it were only a dream
It kills because I know it isn’t
It’s like a sharp pain to the chest
Like a fool I made the wrong move
In this game of chess
I’ve lost my valuables
I’ve Gambled you away
All in one day I’ve gambled you away
I hate it “that day” has arrived, Those hurtful words
But during the midst of this all I’m trying to adjust and just say that I’ll be ok and dissolve the pain
It is so that your absence may never be solved but I’ll be ok
By the grace of God I’ll live to see another day though my day may not be as bright as yesterday by gods grace I’ll be ok 

Written By Brandon. R (OfficalBee) 

Connect with me on Twitter: @RetroLove__

SnapChat: OfficalBee

Poetry – Watch Who You’re Fucking With|Trimmed Version

Infatuated 

The only thing that caught his eye was her body, the stroke of her waist line immediately he acknowledges he wants her so he uses so many corny ass pickup lines just to get in between her thighs he told her many lies and the crazy thing is she believed it because it was all the things that she wanted to hear so within the same day she offers him a shot at a “real relationship”

because the qualification of his appearance was all that she needed, for that she bled all of her feelings out and fell in love within a week. To her, his appearance was life which contributed to her weakness, you know he was the cute type, the type that made most chicks gullible overnight

you see he knew that he had got her the first moment he acquired her visuals ever since that moment he plotted against her he had one goal in mind and that was to break her wall of boundaries down and believe me that task wasn’t easy for him it took time but he didn’t give a fuck he just wanted his nut so he began torturing her mind by feeding her all type of lies in time he grew bored with her and soon began to explore his great departure

after years of being mind fucked she’s completely used up, in a desperate attempt she tries to obtain his attention just for a little bit she opens up and expresses herself but of course he don’t wanna listen to none of it so she breaks down and cry and he replies with some cold shit “you crazy bitch” she grabs a knife and says I’ll show you crazy my nigga you don’t know who you fucking with

long story short she catches him and slices off his penis, like it wasn’t shit and fucks him in his ass with his own dick, now ain’t that some shit. the moral of this story is watch who you fucking with

Thank you all for reading I hope you all enjoyed reading my post. Stay tuned there will be more. Also I do apologize for the foul language I chose to use in my poem, I just believe it shouldn’t be any boundaries when it comes to writing and telling stories. Freedom Expressed! 🙏

I’ve fallen In love with a dream (Misunderstood, Poetry)

I’ve fallen in love with a dream

Much many of my writings are sad and very depressing 

and much many of my writings along with this 

Maybe misunderstood..


Many people may read this and not understand

But, truth is I’ve become mentally attached 

to someone, to something that’s not real

My heart bleeds for it, yet it doesn’t exist 

Through many years of your non, existence I’ve grown very fond of you. 

You’re wonder because your pretty appearance

And mind blowing personality makes you beautiful

And you love me unconditionally, that alone makes me so happy

it could stretch the tic of time and last for eternity

But you see, the most twisted up thing about this is,

you don’t exist you’re just a figment of my imagination

A thought in which you’re harmony and bliss

But in reality you fail to exist. “Love”   “Misunderstood Poetry”