My love suffers & I can’t do anything about it, I’d be modest & wish her well, I’d wish with a snap of a finger her day goes well,
but of course this isn’t a fairytale & I’m not too good on luck all that i can do is lean on hope, but sometimes hope can be the equivalent to a joke as I endure brokenness everyday i am more & more incapable to cope its existence, hope is thinned in our fragile lives when nothing seems to go our way.
I pray to my highest for the best to come our way,
but nothing really changes, everything remains the same
we’re trapped in burden, engulf by sin, going around in circles paying a price that’s over priced.
The most painful thing in life is to watch you in pain,
I’ve watched you cry so much that it has become normal. These days you seem to be more demoralized as age catches up with you,
while your fingers acts as a vine it twists up on you & your voice go dry, & your hair turns gray, these days no one really seems to be truly intrigue in communicating with you all that you have is your mind
& in your mind all that you pray for is your abilities, to be as mobile again, but I guess the price is to high even for the love whose more than any star in the sky,
she’s the universe that gives me the world, & energy
though previously i didn’t act accordingly
I’d walk right by her like she didn’t exist
I’d talk around her like she weren’t present
but they say you don’t know what you have until its nearly gone
& once its gone you’d be in deep regret playing the memories
over & over again like some sad song.
This day as she goes down hill she smiles even while enduring the vilest, she’d give me her last & would only feel free when I’m happy. My love is suffering & I can’t do anything about it.
I’ve fallen in love with a dream
Much many of my writings are sad and very depressing
and much many of my writings along with this
Many people may read this and not understand
But, truth is I’ve become mentally attached
to someone, to something that’s not real
My heart bleeds for it, yet it doesn’t exist
Through many years of your non, existence I’ve grown very fond of you.
You’re wonder because your pretty appearance
And mind blowing personality makes you beautiful
And you love me unconditionally, that alone makes me so happy
it could stretch the tic of time and last for eternity
But you see, the most twisted up thing about this is,
you don’t exist you’re just a figment of my imagination
A thought in which you’re harmony and bliss
But in reality you fail to exist. “Love” “Misunderstood Poetry”
Buried deep within there is another side
A darker side, there is evil trapped in me that urges to be set forever free
It sometimes becomes me it oozes out of my pores
And contaminates the air that I breath
Whenever it is momentarily free it temporarily turns me crazy
It does things that are unforgiving
And unfortunately it is unforgettable
It always seems to play its scenarios
In my mind as if I have no control as if I have no strength, forever giving in to its wonders and temptations
But here I brace strong enough to set it free
Not free to become me
But free from me.
Here I am long-lost and free
Here I am wandered off from who I use to be
grown very cold and numb to feelings
I am absolutely free
but what is it to be free
in such freedom everyone is just temporary and distant
and vacancy strikes frequently
as vacancy begins it grows like darkness
and every moment of its existence is hoped to end
but it doesn’t, it’s rough like edges seems as an unconditional growth that remains in continuum.
I hate being alone but in such freedom that I adventure, loneliness strikes like an untreatable disease
When I started expressing such freedom my social life was slowly dying,
I would lose my mind, even trying to regain any friendship
so I reminisce on past memories because that is all that I have. But, fucked up thing is pretending not to give a shit and to feel so protected by my own numbness.
In the beginning, sure we all say to be alone really don’t make that much of a difference but once we’re actually alone we feel the true effects of darkness, as if we’re lost into a pit with no assistance because to be alone feels exactly like darkness.