Her Absence

She said she don’t love me no more
she hit me with the “its not you its me.”
I got problems thats bigger then the both of us.
I’m so fucking sorry that you couldn’t see the uncertainty and in reality theres no equality in you and me. She said sorry, sorry theres a lot of hurt in me, but Its time to set you free
when she finished, it was much like a eulogy
rest in peace to what we use to be.
Great memories i think this is the end of me
she said we’ll always be friends you see,
But not to me, i don’t accept. You’re worse then the evilest of enemies truthfully you left me because my image didn’t vividly match the description of the image you envisioned
i would try to console you & be that ear to listen, but you’d tell me to mind my business you’d keep your distance. The absence of love has invited me to these prescriptions. My whole world was depleted & pierced from the pain created, she cutes deep.
At night i lose much sleep and when it comes to eating i have no appetite.
I can’t eat, I can’t sleep surrounded by the thoughts of you.
The pain i want it to end, but it remains in continuum. Continually building & breaking the formation of my skin your absence is reality and from this reality I remain engulfed by misery. My soul is indulged in darkness
this is a reality that i wish not to be subdued to.
I feel like a fool whose captivated in a cage
and grief is on full display for the world to view all of this is motivated by you. @OfficialRussaw

Our Situation Is Complicated

All these text messages but none equivalent to yours
you been away for a bit, these days you claim to be the busiest
i barely hear from you anymore
Sometimes I think of stopping and knocking at your fucking door
surprise pop ups & text messages like “Hey I miss you”,
but i refuse to because i hate to bug you
and just when we do talk we just never seem to situate the issue
because lately I’d bite my words & beat around the bush as much as possible
pretending to be okay when really I’m not okay.
So up goes the confusion here is the biggest issues
I miss you, but I’d stray away from conversing with you because i don’t want the conversation to turn into devastation
you know how we get.. into arguments that seem to escalade from zero to 50 quick.
It seems that every time I share my feelings you get livid
So I keep my words as brief as possible
because these days I grow aggravated when you misunderstand,
& you get annoyed when i try to make you comprehend
I become very agitated, & frustrated because you’re irritated. Our situation is just the epitome of complication
I love you…. but then again…. we are in a complicated situation that continually grow more out of hand.

Brandon Russaw Twitter: @RetroLove__

My Love Suffers

My love suffers & I can’t do anything about it, I’d be modest & wish her well, I’d wish with a snap of a finger her day goes well,
but of course this isn’t a fairytale & I’m not too good on luck all that i can do is lean on hope, but sometimes hope can be the equivalent to a joke as I endure brokenness everyday i am more & more incapable to cope its existence, hope is thinned in our fragile lives when nothing seems to go our way.

I pray to my highest for the best to come our way,
but nothing really changes, everything remains the same
we’re trapped in burden, engulf by sin, going around in circles paying a price that’s over priced.

The most painful thing in life is to watch you in pain,
I’ve watched you cry so much that it has become normal. These days you seem to be more demoralized as age catches up with you,

while your fingers acts as a vine it twists up on you & your voice go dry, & your hair turns gray, these days no one really seems to be truly intrigue in communicating with you all that you have is your mind

& in your mind all that you pray for is your abilities, to be as mobile again, but I guess the price is to high even for the love whose more than any star in the sky,
she’s the universe that gives me the world, & energy
though previously i didn’t act accordingly

I’d walk right by her like she didn’t exist
I’d talk around her like she weren’t present
but they say you don’t know what you have until its nearly gone
& once its gone you’d be in deep regret playing the memories
over & over again like some sad song.

This day as she goes down hill she smiles even while enduring the vilest, she’d give me her last & would only feel free when I’m happy. My love is suffering & I can’t do anything about it.
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Suck In The Pain Like Oxygen|The Poem|Trimmed Version

Suck in the pain like oxygen

Suck in the pain like oxygen

And fake a smile like a phenomenal actor execute’s a movie script
Have A celebration of acceleration
But don’t celebrate
You pretend to be happy but in reality 
You suffocate from deceleration
As your body creeps through a lonely like street
The pain “lies” so deep it burns as if it came straight from the barrel of the heat
It penetrate so deep through your temple, it fucks up your mental
Tears through your flesh and destroys your physical as you Pretend to be joyful

Written By I, Brandon. R also known as SpokenTruth

OfficalBee

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And follow me on twitter @RetroLove__ Two underscores