Her Absence

She said she don’t love me no more
she hit me with the “its not you its me.”
I got problems thats bigger then the both of us.
I’m so fucking sorry that you couldn’t see the uncertainty and in reality theres no equality in you and me. She said sorry, sorry theres a lot of hurt in me, but Its time to set you free
when she finished, it was much like a eulogy
rest in peace to what we use to be.
Great memories i think this is the end of me
she said we’ll always be friends you see,
But not to me, i don’t accept. You’re worse then the evilest of enemies truthfully you left me because my image didn’t vividly match the description of the image you envisioned
i would try to console you & be that ear to listen, but you’d tell me to mind my business you’d keep your distance. The absence of love has invited me to these prescriptions. My whole world was depleted & pierced from the pain created, she cutes deep.
At night i lose much sleep and when it comes to eating i have no appetite.
I can’t eat, I can’t sleep surrounded by the thoughts of you.
The pain i want it to end, but it remains in continuum. Continually building & breaking the formation of my skin your absence is reality and from this reality I remain engulfed by misery. My soul is indulged in darkness
this is a reality that i wish not to be subdued to.
I feel like a fool whose captivated in a cage
and grief is on full display for the world to view all of this is motivated by you. @OfficialRussaw

A Slave To The Memories

I think about you all the fucking time
every since the day you left,
my mind has been fixed on your existence.
I grow anxiously tempted to hit your line,
but i hesitate because i know it’ll be a waste of time. I rewind the clock for a bit and start to reminisce about the good shit
mostly all of our experiences were heavily bliss. Who would have known that you’d pull off a miraculous disappearance trick. These days the thought of you grows stronger & the hour gets longer. You left me to be obsessively burned by the heat of your no return. As your absence prolongs I become a raisin bruised by the baking sun or that crop who wishes that the rain would come. I get a little delusional now days its usuals. These days i think i need therapy as i continuously hear your voice whispering to me I feel your presence as if you’re right next to me, but in reality you’re no where near my vicinity. You’ve widely contributed to the change of my activities. Throughout the day I can’t eat & I don’t do any of the things i use to. I guess I’m just not use to the thought of living without you. You’d think my troubles would ease at night, but it don’t it just repeats, overlaps & doubles when i lose sleep. I lay awake at the latest time flicking through photographs that i have sworn to delete. Here lies the strangest fatality
i am a slave to these memories who’s far in debt to reality.

@OfficialRussaw

Our Situation Is Complicated

All these text messages but none equivalent to yours
you been away for a bit, these days you claim to be the busiest
i barely hear from you anymore
Sometimes I think of stopping and knocking at your fucking door
surprise pop ups & text messages like “Hey I miss you”,
but i refuse to because i hate to bug you
and just when we do talk we just never seem to situate the issue
because lately I’d bite my words & beat around the bush as much as possible
pretending to be okay when really I’m not okay.
So up goes the confusion here is the biggest issues
I miss you, but I’d stray away from conversing with you because i don’t want the conversation to turn into devastation
you know how we get.. into arguments that seem to escalade from zero to 50 quick.
It seems that every time I share my feelings you get livid
So I keep my words as brief as possible
because these days I grow aggravated when you misunderstand,
& you get annoyed when i try to make you comprehend
I become very agitated, & frustrated because you’re irritated. Our situation is just the epitome of complication
I love you…. but then again…. we are in a complicated situation that continually grow more out of hand.

Brandon Russaw Twitter: @RetroLove__

My Love Suffers

My love suffers & I can’t do anything about it, I’d be modest & wish her well, I’d wish with a snap of a finger her day goes well,
but of course this isn’t a fairytale & I’m not too good on luck all that i can do is lean on hope, but sometimes hope can be the equivalent to a joke as I endure brokenness everyday i am more & more incapable to cope its existence, hope is thinned in our fragile lives when nothing seems to go our way.

I pray to my highest for the best to come our way,
but nothing really changes, everything remains the same
we’re trapped in burden, engulf by sin, going around in circles paying a price that’s over priced.

The most painful thing in life is to watch you in pain,
I’ve watched you cry so much that it has become normal. These days you seem to be more demoralized as age catches up with you,

while your fingers acts as a vine it twists up on you & your voice go dry, & your hair turns gray, these days no one really seems to be truly intrigue in communicating with you all that you have is your mind

& in your mind all that you pray for is your abilities, to be as mobile again, but I guess the price is to high even for the love whose more than any star in the sky,
she’s the universe that gives me the world, & energy
though previously i didn’t act accordingly

I’d walk right by her like she didn’t exist
I’d talk around her like she weren’t present
but they say you don’t know what you have until its nearly gone
& once its gone you’d be in deep regret playing the memories
over & over again like some sad song.

This day as she goes down hill she smiles even while enduring the vilest, she’d give me her last & would only feel free when I’m happy. My love is suffering & I can’t do anything about it.
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Suck In The Pain Like Oxygen|The Poem|Trimmed Version

Suck in the pain like oxygen

Suck in the pain like oxygen

And fake a smile like a phenomenal actor execute’s a movie script
Have A celebration of acceleration
But don’t celebrate
You pretend to be happy but in reality 
You suffocate from deceleration
As your body creeps through a lonely like street
The pain “lies” so deep it burns as if it came straight from the barrel of the heat
It penetrate so deep through your temple, it fucks up your mental
Tears through your flesh and destroys your physical as you Pretend to be joyful

Written By I, Brandon. R also known as SpokenTruth

OfficalBee

IF YOU SHARE HASTAG #SpokenTruthsPoetry 

And follow me on twitter @RetroLove__ Two underscores

Dangerous Love (Poetry)

Dangerous Love

Why do you feel,

that you’re someone who no one will ever like

to go along in life pretending that your alright

when in reality your drowning in pain

Your face stay drenched in tears

mainly over the same thing, someone left you a long time ago

simply because you did not fulfill the thoughts of being a perfect person

can you believe this shit, You spent many years building up your self-confidence

only to have them crushed down by that one person

who told you, you’re no one’s dream nor treasure

so therefore you have no placement in this world and soon after hearing that bullshit

you allow your whole world to turn into darkness,

you then start to hate every fucking moment of your existence

in, that moment nothing seems to really make much sense

and instead of living life you hide in darkness because you’re so ashamed of who you are

you’re mentally broken and sadden you feel that you can’t ever be of any great quality

but who is he or she to say you’re not special,

if only you knew

but you don’t know so you constantly reject the fact that you’re wonderful

it hurts my soul because it seems you’ll never know

your very lovable so please put down that blade

and pay close attention to your magnificent indifference’s which makes you beautiful

Instead of embracing this fact that you are beautiful

You’ve braced yourself and built upon numbness

because you’re brainwashed with thoughts

that a heartless world would survive

but deep down inside you still wishes that someone could love you

someone, no other than this one person that dogged you

you find yourself pointlessly waiting by the phone, waiting for this person to call you

to say to you they’ve made a big mistake by leaving you

but you soon come to your senses

you realized this is nearly impossible, that is something that they’ll never do

by now you’ve grown tired of the same pain

by now you feel your only resort is for death to rescue you

with the scares still burning she weeps

she lets the blade lay deep within her skin

and the only thing she had left in her hand was a note

May she rest peacefully “I hope”