Numb

Here I am, “The newer me.” Wondered off from who I use to be, I’ve grown very cold and numb to feelings. I am absolutely free, but what is it to be free? in such freedom everyone is just temporary and distant & vacancy strikes frequently. As vacancy begins it grows like darkness and every moment of it’s existence is hoped to end, but it doesn’t. It’s rough like edges seems as an unconditional growth that remains in continuum. I hate being alone, but in such freedom that I adventure, loneliness strikes like an untreatable disease. I Find myself trapped in darkness reminiscing the past, memories is all that I have. The most fucked up thing is pretending not to give a shit and to feel so protected by my own numbness. In the beginning, sure we all say to be alone really don’t make that much of a difference but once we’re actually alone we feel the true effects of emptiness, as if we’re lost into a pit with no assistance. To be alone feels exactly like darkness.

Spoken Truths

Brandon Russaw

Twitter: @RetroLove__

GoodBye Trimmed Poem

The most hurtful thing to awake in the morning alone
Because
The one that you loved beyond all measures, The one that you were so attached to is no longer laying beside you
Their heart is no longer present 
It freely undulates in the breeze 
Inside I wish it were only a dream
It kills because I know it isn’t
It’s like a sharp pain to the chest
Like a fool I made the wrong move
In this game of chess
I’ve lost my valuables
I’ve Gambled you away
All in one day I’ve gambled you away
I hate it “that day” has arrived, Those hurtful words
But during the midst of this all I’m trying to adjust and just say that I’ll be ok and dissolve the pain
It is so that your absence may never be solved but I’ll be ok
By the grace of God I’ll live to see another day though my day may not be as bright as yesterday by gods grace I’ll be ok 

Written By Brandon. R (OfficalBee) 

Connect with me on Twitter: @RetroLove__

SnapChat: OfficalBee